The One with All the Friends Thanksgiving Episodes (a.k.a. The One with the Gross Candy Corn)

This week I traumatized myself, and my husband, by forcing us to try the Brach’s Thanksgiving Dinner with Apple Pie and Coffee candy corn. Luckily, we were watching Friends (NBC, 1994-2004) at the same time, or it would have been a wholly intolerable experience. I’m a bit of a Chandler, you see, as I also hate most traditional Thanksgiving foods, so I don’t know what the heck I was thinking. While I’m not a turkey and stuffing girl, I do love Friends, especially their holiday episodes. Each of the ten seasons of Friends has one episode dedicated to Thanksgiving, and today I would love to sort through all of them and rank them from least-best to best. Allow me to also process this candy corn fiasco as I rank all of the Friends Thanksgiving episodes.

Someone please explain to me why this exists and why I purchased it.

10. Season 2, Episode 8 – “The One with the List”

This episode takes the bottom slot due to the lack of actual 'Thanksgiving.' Instead, Monica endeavors to concoct Thanksgiving-themed recipes out of the vilest of chocolate substitutes, Mocklate. I imagine Mocklate to taste as disgusting as the stuffing-flavored candy corn, which tasted exactly like stuffing. It turns out you don’t want that from your candy corn.

9. Season 8, Episode 9 – “The One with the Rumor”

Yes, Brad Pitt is in this episode, and everyone hoots and hollers about it, but this episode is always one of the cringier ones to revisit. Pretty much every line in the episode is hurtful to someone. I find myself as disappointed in it as I was disappointed in the cranberry sauce-flavored candy corn, which was the one I was looking forward to the most, but it only elicited a vague 'fruit' flavor.

8. Season 7, Episode 8 – “The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs”

I often forget this episode exists, but it’s a pretty cute little Thanksgiving episode. Highlights include a cute little dog and the plot machinations surrounding its concealment and retrieval. As he tends to be on Thanksgiving, Chandler is a bit too unreasonable, but who can blame him? It’s Thanksgiving.

7. Season 4, Episode 8 – “The One with Chandler in a Box”   

This episode has a lot going on outside of Thanksgiving, but, man, does it make my heart feel. For some reason Joey is the unreasonable one this Thanksgiving, forcing Chandler to spend the day in a box as penance for falling in love with his girlfriend. This episode puts the friendship of Joey and Chandler to the test, and we were all grateful for the happy ending.

6. Season 9, Episode 8 – “The One with Rachel’s Other Sister”

Rachel’s sister Jill shows up on Thanksgiving to stir up trouble for the Friends, posing the question of who would be responsible for Rachel’s daughter if she were to die. Needless to say, tensions are high this Thanksgiving, especially with Monica struggling to protect her wedding china at every turn. This episode is as intense as the coffee-flavored candy corn, which had a strong flavor, but was still bizarre.

Our favorite Friends enjoying a late (and slightly broken) Thanksgiving in “The One with the Late Thanksgiving”.

5. Season 10, Episode 8 – “The One with the Late Thanksgiving”

Poor Monica can never host a normal Thanksgiving. This year all of the Friends force her to cook a meal that she didn’t even want to make, and then they have the audacity to all show up late. Can you imagine the audacity? I can. It’s the same audacity that Brach’s had when they made the decent apple pie-flavored candy corn look almost exactly like the disgusting stuffing ones. Infuriating!

4. Season 5, Episode 8 – “The One with All the Thanksgivings”

Monica and Chandler’s newfound romance is in peril when Chandler learns that he’s missing a toe due to Monica’s mistake ten years earlier. This is similar to the peril that I found in my relationship when my husband said that the turkey-flavored candy corn was the most palatable one, noting that he could even “taste the fibers” of the turkey. We are still married. For now... Speaking of turkey, two characters separately wear turkeys on their heads. Delightful!

3. Season 1, Episode 9 – “The One Where Underdog Gets Away”

At number three, the one that started it all. We learn of Chandler’s Thanksgiving trauma, a Macy’s Parade balloon goes rogue, and a Thanksgiving dinner is destroyed. While to the Friends this Thanksgiving may have been as upsetting as the green bean-flavored candy corn, which tasted more like grass, to me this Thanksgiving sounds pretty ideal. In the immortal words of Chandler Bing: “I’m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.”

2. Season 6, Episode 9 – “The One Where Ross Got High”

It’s the trifle episode! It’s the trifle episode! Who cares what the heck else happens in this episode? The star of the show is Rachel’s trifle, which consists of ladyfingers, jam, custard (which she made from scratch), raspberries, beef sauteed with peas and onions, bananas, and whipped cream. I don’t know about you, but I’d try that in a heartbeat. As Joey explains, “Custard good. Jam good. Meat good.” It couldn’t possibly be worse than this candy corn.

1. Season 3, Episode 9 – “The One with the Football”

This is not only the best Thanksgiving episode of Friends, but it is also my all-time favorite episode of the series. All of the Friends get together for a “friendly” game of football. Monica and Ross compete as team captains for the Geller cup; meanwhile, Joey and Chandler are competing for the affections of a Dutch spectator, and Rachel’s just trying to get her hands on the ball for once. I just love seeing them all together, letting out their inner children (who are sorta brats, but it’s okay). This episode can take one’s mind away from any candy corn-induced trauma they may have recently experienced.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving episode of television? Stuffing-flavored candy: yay or nay? Let me know in the comments below, and have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright © 2021 Bailey Lizotte Clark